What Your Coffee Says About You – Banker Edition

Have you ever wondered what your deal toy provider thinks of your coffee order? No, probably not. But we’re going to go ahead and tell you.

We know your life isn’t as easy as it is to order deal toys.

Your day is jam-packed with emails, calls, “plz edit” messages… the list goes on. You might have even thought, for a brief moment there, that you would have a better schedule once starting to work from home. We are so sorry to let you know (which we’re sure you’ve already found out) that this is not the case. You are still at the beck and call of your company. But hey, that’s the name of the game, right? 

So, what do you do to keep yourself motivated? Maybe you work out in the morning? Play some music to keep yourself from getting distracted. We’ve got a few pointers on that as well. Truly, we all know it’s about the morning routine (or lack thereof). But we’re willing to put money down that most of you start your day with a comforting cup o’Joe.  

You know about investment banking and we know about a great deal toy. Where is the common ground between us? Yes, celebration. But caffeine as well. Knowing what coffee is the best to drink, is our forte and we are thinking it might be yours too. 

Here’s our take on what coffee to try next. You might agree, you might disagree; we’re open to feedback (or criticism) here.  Also, you’ll be surprised to know just how many coffee deal toy designs we had to choose from! You can find a few below. 

So, How do you take your coffee?

Black.

You are as easy as they come! Keeping it simple; a no-fuss kind of person. Are we safe to say, maybe also a little intimidating and or antisocial? Maybe we’re just projecting here. Regardless, you’re not here to mess around. Caffeine or death is your motto. Or maybe you’re on a diet and you’re wishing that you were drinking your caramel macchiato instead. Either way, we support your black decision and applaud the motivation. 

A brand we like when we need that rich taste: Death Wish Coffee. 

Espresso 

Okay, let’s get you to where you need to be. In life or on that excel. Fast, another no-fuss option. Ordering an espresso (or making, rather) is the equivalent of ordering a whiskey neat. Leah Ritsema, a professional barista said she gets excited when someone orders an espresso: “It’s the chance to try coffee in its purest form. My impression of someone who drinks espresso is that they’re either really efficient or a true coffee lover.” Feel free to read more about her take on people’s coffee orders here. 

Whichever of the above that you are, we hope you get things checked off your to-do list. You need an easy to brew espresso with rich taste and an even greater amount of caffeine. Perfect for a day full of deadlines or excels (and eye twitches). 

Our recommendation: that nice French place down the block or if making at home, we like Lavazza – lots of different flavors.  

Instant Coffee 

Slow your horses, there. If the above two weren’t enough to scream “I need coffee and I need it now,” you certainly are. You have no time to waste. Heck, you can’t even hit “brew” on a Keurig. We bet you even microwaved the water instead of boiling it on the stovetop. No worries, we don’t judge (….). You need that caffeine kick more than you want to appreciate a nice sip of coffee while listening to your morning podcasts. But believe it or not, there are a few unicorns: some great tasting instant coffee does exist. 

We suggest trying: Fair Trade Freeze Dried Organic Coffee by Café Altura. One of the few organic, fair trade instant coffee’s we know of. And it’s less than 20 cents a cup, so you’re pretty much stealing.  

Decaf 

Just one question: why?

KIDDING! Coffee snobs just love to make fun of the decaf crew. In learning about different types of coffees we learned that no coffee is actually completely decaffeinated. As mentioned above, Ritsema says that “there is no naturally-occurring decaffeinated coffee in the world. All coffee is caffeinated. When coffee is decaffeinated, it goes through some sort of process to remove the caffeine.” This usually makes them taste not so great.  

So, when brewing a decaf at home, we think you should try Kicking Horse Decaf coffee. With over 16,000 reviews, don’t just take it from us! 

Latte  

We don’t have too much of an opinion on this one. Just that it’s pretty average. Nothing wrong with that! You like a safe bet, no room for error, but need something with your coffee. This also goes for our coffee with a splash of milk drinkers. You’re easy, not too difficult to please. We think it’s also safe to say you’re not “coffee obsessed.” You drink it, it helps wake you up, but you’re not there to taste the flavor notes in your roast. Your taste buds are well balanced – not too sweet, not too bitter. Might this even reflect your personality?  

No hard recommendation here as there are a lot of different ways you can have this, but if we had to pick, we love a La Colombe latte (sorry to our readers that don’t have one nearby but we’re big fans.)  They’ve got a new hazelnut draft latte that we are dying to try. 

Flavored Coffee 

You don’t mind a little risk. PsychCentral says if you tend to go for coffee combined with various flavors, like caramel, mocha, or raspberry, then you’re likely more of a risk-taker. People who prefer blended and flavored coffee like to try new things and enjoy an adventure. Flavored and blended coffees are the most creative of the coffee world, so it follows that those who drink them are creative and imaginative as well. 

Opinion: Well that’s certainly a hot take – we would have assumed it just meant you were an inexperienced coffee drinker? When we’re feeling a little adventurous, we don’t want to commit to anything, so here we suggest trying different flavors from Nespresso! We’re big fans of the caramel cookie.  

Hot Chocolate

Let’s not even do this.

Tea 

We wish we were you. Honestly, this screams classy. And don’t be fooled, tea certainly can have a massive amount of caffeine. If you order a black tea, you also mean business. Black tea is the darkest and strongest because it is fully oxidized. Learn something new every day! On the other hand, a nice ginger or mint tea can be quite relaxing throughout a busy day.  

If you want something strong for your tea, we recommend Twinnings Irish Breakfast Black.